I wanted to write this post for my non-pregnant and soon-to-be pregnant readers, and maybe some newly pregnant ones. When I was first planning our pregnancy and reading a million books that I read, one thing I always wondered about is how my pregnancy was going to go compared to the books. You can read all you want, but books discuss what “usually” happens, and as we all know everyone’s experience is different. The books also don’t talk about feelings or personal experiences ( at least not the ones I was reading, since I opted for more medical and factual books rather than “girlfriend” books).
So here’s my take on the first trimester: my personal experience, the way I had/have it and the way I see it:
PREGNANCY NAUSEA
Expectations:
I always knew I was going to be sick during the first trimester. There wasn’t even a question in my mind. I spent 8 years on the pill and any time I’d forget to take one and have to make it up a little later, I’d spend the whole time by the toilet throwing up. So I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. In my imagination, pregnancy nausea was something like being sea sick and throwing up after certain meals that didn’t agree with you. I thought of it as a completely physiological thing that just simply happens.
Reality:
First of all, I have mention that I wasn’t AS sick as I had thought I’d be. But what I didn’t expect is that pregnancy nausea is as animal of it own. It’s nothing like the sea sickness or food poisoning nausea. First of all, it’s CONSTANT. I mean it is ALWAYS there, you ALWAYS feel nauseous. Whether you’re hungry or full, or content, you are never comfortable and are always sick. Something that totally caught me off guard was that while usual nausea is almost completely a physiological process ( you are nauseous and throw up), pregnancy nausea is also psychological. I actually discovered that, for me, pregnancy nausea was MOSTLY psychological that would then grow into a physiological process.
Let me explain: It was not THE FOOD that was making me sick, but THE THOUGHT OF THE FOOD, as well as the smell and the looks. It was soooo strange. In the very beginning, I would feel so voilently ill just thinking of food. Nothing sounded good. But since we were determined to feed me a perfect diet even while sick, hubby would still make food and bring it to me, and I’d force myself to eat. The strange thing was that as soon as put that food into my mouth (wincing of course), I’d be fine (relatively speaking). The process of bringing the food to my mouth was worse than actually eating. So I’d sit there and hate the idea of eating, but I’d have to remind myself that I have to and that once I start chewing it won’t be as bad. So spoonful after spoonful, I kept feeding myself despite my utmost desite to stop eating forever. That went on for weeks. There were certain foods the taste of which DID make me sick: romaine, nuts and sardines. I spent an hour, crying but forcing myself to eat the dang nutritious Romaine salad, it was honestly a torture, and then an hour later I got so sick, I threw up. For the first and last time. I realized that if Romaine is going to make me throw up then I better find other foods that are as nutritious and have the same vitamins and minerals. So I moved onto spinach salads which weren’t so bad. Later cucumber and tomato salads ( tossed in salt and canola oil) saved my bucket nutritionwise.
So I spent about 3-4 weeks mostly in bed or the couch suffering from the constant nausea and forcing myself to eat healthily and nutritiously and a lot of it. After a week or two, the thought of certain foods that I had to eat ( eggs for protein, or sardines for iron and nutrients) would literally make me cry. At my worst , hubby would bring me food ( that I told him to make) and i would just start bawling at the sight of it, because I knew how hard it was going to be to take a bite. In the end I don’t regret one bit making myself eat htrought suffering and tears, because I made sure the baby was given the perfect amount of nutrients but I gotta tell you, it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life: eating inspite of nausea. While not eating felt like what I wanted to do, I knew going hungry would just worsen it. Sea bands helped a bit on my worst days, ginger almost made me hurl ( i hate ginger). Bananas in the morning, and any fresh fruit or fresh vegetables were the only thing I could eat without sufferring, but I wasn’t enjoying them either.
A little later pregnancy nausea evolved into, what I called, “the fullness nausea”, where I’d feel really sick after every meal, a different kind of sick, the kind of sick that you get when you’ve eaten sooooo much, it makes you want to puke. That was when, I assume, my uterus was moving out of my pelvis and pressing and squeezing my interstines and stomach, while they were trying to rearrange themselves. I also expect it to return as my uterus gets bigger and starts pushing on my stomach for lack of room. (yay!)
To this day, with the nausea being pretty mild, the thought, the smell or looks of food makes me more nauseaus than I current am, regardless of what kind of food it is. ( as I am writing this I feel sick to my stomach from all the food talk :))
Either way, pregnancy nausea is nothing like any other nausea I’ve experienced, mostly because it’s constant and lasts for so long, you can’t imagine you’ve ever felt normal or will ever feel normal again. Oh and in my case, teh nausea got HORRIBLE in the evening or when i’d get tired, but I’d feel the best in the mornings.
That being said, now that it’s almost gone, would I do it again for a second baby? Yes! But this time, I’d ask my mom to come help me during the first trimester, so that all the responsibilities, including work, cleaning, cooking, weren’t solely on my husband’s shoulders. Having a toddler to take care of while feeling like death isn’t something I’d want to experience without some full time help. Women who manage to work, have a kid, be pregnant while they’re truly sick are real heroes.
CONSTIPATION
Expectations:
I read about constipation in every single pregnancy book. Yikes, I thought, constipation, hemmoroids, this pregnancy thing isn’t fun, huh? So without even thinking about it, I thought I’d get it too.
When I finally got pregnant, a fact dawned on me: I eat a ton of fiber (around 40 grams a day), unintentionally, because most of my foods are fruits, veggies and whole grains. I bet I won’t get constipation for that reason, I thought. I was curious to see if despite all that, the pregnancy hormones would get me.
Reality:
I was actually right on this one. Unless constipation becomes more of a problem during the 2nd trimester, I’ve been lucky enough to avoid it completely. While I expected it, it was still a welcomed surprise to me to see the proper diet work over the pregnancy hormones. Now, I can’t say I didn’t notice a difference in bowel habits. {ok, now TMI starts, so skip, if you’re not interested}. Before pregnancy, both me and hubby would go #2 pretty much after every big meal. It was a relatively new development to us as well, because before he went vegan and I started eating the way I do now, once a day was how it worked with occasional 2-3 day break due to travelling or so. I always thought that was normal, but after changing our eating habits a year ago and doing some reading, I realized that normal is emptying your colon after every meal (btw, hubby is even more regular than me, since he doesn’t eat dairy). Now I can’t say pregnancy DIDN’T change anything in that department. I can DEFINITELY see a slow down. While before I’d go 3-4 times a day, super easily, now it’s a twice a day kind of deal and it takes me slightly longer. Another thing I noticed is there’s not much when i go ( i told you it’s TMI), which according to many sources is because my body is working hard right now to extract every possible nutritient, thus not leaving much waste product. That was very good to know, actually, the baby was being fed well :) It is one of the few ways I can tell the benefitial changes are happening in my body to protect and grow my baby.
Update: now that I am going over this, being in the 2nd trimester, since the placenta is taking over the hormone production, it all sped up even more. I also found out drinking lots of water ( which I do and have been) helps the problem, in case you’re pregnant and wondering.
HEARTBURN
Expectations:
I had NEVER had heartburn in my life. Back when I was eating bad, I was too young to have it ( i guess) and since I changed my eating habits a few years ago, I was just not eating anything that tends to cause heartburn ( fried, oily stuff). So I was sure it was not going to be an issue. I didn’t even count heartburn as a possible symptom, didn’t even think about it.
Reality:
Oh how I was mistaken! IT IS A BITCH! We tend to forget that our body CHANGES completely when we get pregnant. That means things that haven’t been an issue might become an issue. So while dairy, acids, and whatever else causes heartburn haven’t bothered me up until now, that doesn’t mean that the hormonal changes won’t “fix” that. And man, did they! Sometimes it gets so bad, I want to scream. Othertimes it makes it hard to breathe or swallow, either way heartburn sucks, and there’s no good remedy for it during pregnancy ( I try not take Tums, because they’re just “sort of safe” and I try to take it easy with Bi-carb due to sodium.). Also my DHA pills are causing some of the heartburn, so I try to take them at night. But for now, all I have to do is suck it up and try to ignore it. :( If my heartburn gets worse I might have to do something about it, even if it means taking TUMS. If anyone has any natural solutions, I’m all ears.
MOODINESS
Expectations:
I have heard stories of pregZillas going crazy, snapping at their hubbies, yelling and screaming. We both braced for the pregnancy hormones and me freaking out over little nothings.
Reality:
To date, all I’ve had are emotional crying spells ( I am not usually a crier). Things upset me a little more than before, but not in a “raging mad” way, but in a “I’m gonna cry” way. Tears come really easily and there a lot of them. I’ve cried over having to eat food, over feeling sad, over missing the sunset, over not getting a peach, while arguing with hubby ( not willingly, of course- it just happens). I’ve not snapped at hubby for no reason, though there were times when he was overwhlemed by working AND taking care of me and wasn’t the nicest. It’s possible that’s because I am actively trying to avoid any stress, which would include anger, so I try to relax in situations that would normally get me mad or upset. Either way, so far the pregZILLA hasn’t shown its ugly head and let’s hope it stays that way.
EXERCISE
Expectations:
I was determined to exercise through the worst of my nausea if I can, do it daily, do my kegels, etc.
Reality:
Hahaha! This makes me laugh now. My nausea filled days consisted of two things: eating and feeling miserable. That is a full time job. In order to keep nausea at bay and get enough calories, I had to eat constantly, which was a torture and took forever. So I basically did nothing but eat and suffer. I was working out daily before 5th week when the nausea hit, and started going for 2.5 mile walks every other morning at 8th week when nausea eased up a bit. I’m really looking forward to exercising again in the 2nd trimester, I feel I’m all fat no muscles at this point. Today was the first true day of actual pregnancy exercises ( walking doesn’t count) and I loved it. But I don’t count on feeling good enough to do it every day. I need to do something to at least get myself to do kegels more often, lazy bum!
SKIN AND HAIR
Expectations:
I didn’t even know skin would be a problem. I don’t think I read about that anywhere, at least not in details, and I didn’t really care, because what’s some breakouts, right? As far as hair, I was looking forward to some nice lush hair.
Reality:
Oh these are NOT some breakouts- this is a full on attack on my face and upper body. I am breaking out in places I’ve never broken out before, little small tiny breakouts, scattered all over. Yuck!
The hair is not there, either. I have big hair as it is, and I see no change. I’d say it’s actually worse, which I attribute to organic shampoos that can’t clean or moisturize for shit :)
DOPPLER
Expectations:
We knew we were gonna get a doppler even before I was pregnant. After I ordered it, it was brought to my attention that a doppler is basically the same thing as ultrasound and I started looking into any possible harm that ultrasound can do. I found quite a few studies that show minimal but statistically apparent damage ( heats up tissue, scrambles brain cells, connected with miscarriage, thought the latter was never shown in repeated studies). Either way, it was more prudent to do as few full on ultrasounds as possible, and use the doppler once and then only in “emergency” situations. In order for the “damage to occur they had to have full strength ultrasound in one place for 30 minutes ( in mice).
Reality:
It was the best thing to happen to expecting parents ( or at least in our case). Having the reassurance of the doppler, when you’re concerned about the baby is priceless. I can see where it can cause unecessary worries if the heartbeat is not found but we’ve been able to find it each and every time and it’s just wonderful. We use it for a couple minutes, and listen to the heartbeat for literally no more than 10 seconds. It helps to just know that it’s there, if I am having unusual cramps, or some of my symptoms disappear and I don’t have the kicks to judge baby’s well-being by and it’s simply just dang nice. You can read about our doppler experience and how we found the heartbeat here
FEELING OF FULLNESS
Expectations:
Don’t remember reading about this one. I think it might be connected with nausea.
Reality:
Oh my God, I think it was a part of nausea or something, but at the time I felt like I was going to EXPLODE! Like my stomach was a size of a peanut and drinking anything more than half a cup or eating more than a cup meant lying there moaning like after Thanksgiving dinner. It was almost as bad as light nausea and it seemed to come and go. I still have it once in a while, but definitely not to that extend, where I felt like I couldn’t take another bite and not die.
FATIGUE
Expectations:
It was one of those things everyone knows about: Pregnant women get fatigue.
Reality:
I thought it’d be worse, to be honest. Now granted, the whole point of my pregnancy is make it a very relaxing time, where the main goal is to feed, nurture and take care of the growing baby inside of me. So I had no responsibilities, aside from eating really well, excersising ( yeah right), being calm and doing occasional work when I am able to. So while I felt tired, I was always in a position to rest immidiately upon getting the fatigue. I did notice that as nausea was getting better and I was venturing outside of my bedroom (lol), standing for about 15 minutes or longer was making me really tired. There were days where going up the stairs ( we have a big steep stairwell) was making me out of breath.
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And I think that’s it. If you think I missed something, you’d like to hear about, by all means, let me know.
