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I can’t believe it’s only been two months! I wonder when I’ll stop saying that. I feel like we’ve known Alexis for years.

So much has changed in two months. I will try and catch this blog up on it all, starting from first bath to videos and walks, all the way to our breastfeeding journey, beach trips and loving talks.
But today….well today is exactly 2 months since Alexis made her arrival and turned our world upside down.

I won’t be writing this update in any coherent manner, because you can’t make sense when you have a baby. Babies don’t make sense (more on that in a different post). {All the photos below are taken in the past month}

Personality

She has grown so much. Both in weight/height and mentally. From day 1 she’s always been a very aware, serious, alert baby. But this month it has taken on a new meaning. She wants nothing else but to be propped on your shoulder and carried around like in the picture above. She looks around like it’s her job. She’s so incredibly serious all the time.  She has a face that says “I am thinking about the solution to the world’s problems”. It’s calm and collected and serious and curious. I can almost see her little brain taking it all in and processing the information. Her favorite are pictures of mommy and daddy. She can stare at those for hours. Well, no, not hours, because she gets bored of one thing too soon.  But she will smile and laugh and coo at them and it’s amazing to watch. Sometimes after a feeding, she will fall away like a little monkey and I’ll put her on my lap facing me and after a few smiley faces she’ll redirect her attention to a picture of me wearing a red dress and my husband on a cruise hanging over the glider. She will laugh and smile and coo at it like it’s nobody’s business.

She also LOVES to smile. Her smiles come from two things and two things alone: interaction with people (preferably ones she know) and pictures of people. And when she smiles the whole world lights up. She transforms from this serious little baby to an adorably silly girly girl. There isn’t an time when she sees me that she doesn’t break into a big toothless gummy smile. She loves her mommy (or mommy’s boobie). Oh the smiles she gives me. Every morning, at every nap time, any time I lock my eyes with hers and smile, she laughs right back :) She’s starting to respond to “I’m gonna get ya!” type of games. I almost got a belly laugh ( it lasted all of 2 seconds) from her playing the game today.

Daddy and grandma have to work a bit harder to get her affection, but when they do, she loves them right back. Alexis has even smiled at strangers. We went to my 6 week OB appointment and she smiled and cooed at my doctor who delivered her ( and proceeded to fuss right after that).

She doesn’t really cry for no reason, which I am grateful for. She has all her needs catered to and if we’re not prompt enough in reading her cues, she lets us know with a little short yell “Ah!” and then again “Ah!” And if that doesn’t get our attention, the fuss train arrives. She fusses/cries for 4 reasons only: diaper needs to be changed, it’s time to eat, she’s sleepy and sometimes she needs an activity change. She has started not digging clothing and a few times would really get upset at it, but she quickly calms down when we are done.

She likes her gym but only a few minutes at a time, same with tummy time, though she hasn’t been too big of a fan so we do tummy time on my chest. She holds her head up sooo well that we almost don’t need to support it when we carry her (but still do just in case). She adores looking at clothing catalogs ( taking after her mama), especially if the model is blonde and is wearing a red dress. She talks at them like they’re real people.

Sleep

Because her nap routine has been so random up until now, it was hard to tell when she was fussy because she was overtired. I think I got it now that she’s been napping more consistently and boy is it much easier, but I am sorry it took me 8 weeks to nail that down. Her naps are hit or miss nowadays. She gets fussy/tired every 1.5 hours or so and some days she’ll only nap on us and will wake up the second you put her down and other days (more rarely) she’ll go down for a 1 hour nap.

The nights are geting so much better. Just this week she started sleeping an initial 4 hour stretch. It started with a 2 hour stretch which was amazing, then a week later we got a 3 hour stretch, a week after that we got 3 hours and 2 hours stretches, and now this week she’s been sleeping 4 hours when she’s first put down and then wake up every hour from then to eat like before. For some reason she won’t go down until 10 pm. Her bedtime used to be 8 pm before the time change, but now she wakes up every half an hour if we force her to sleep at 8 or 9pm and won’t go for her nightly sleep till 10.

So our night looks like this:
10pm-2am- sleep
2am-2:45am-  nurse, change, nurse, rock back to sleep
This sometimes proves to be difficult, as she tends to be wide awake around 3 am
3am-4am sleep
4am-4:20am- nurse
4:20am-5:20 am sleep
5:20-5:40 am nurse
5:40-6:40 sleep
6:40-7:00-nurse
7:00-7:30 sleep
7:30- she’s up for the day.

This is a welcome change for us, because before we had to get up every hour and now we at least get a decent 4 hour stretch. So now we’re down to 3-4 wakings or less sometimes. Our little girl is growing and I can foresee her sleep getting longer and longer.

Preferences

She still won’t take a pacifier, but LOVES to suck on her hands or MY knuckles for that matter. It almost makes me think she’s teething, because of all the drool and the gusto that she gums my knuckle with if I only get my hand near her mouth. But I know it’s way too early for that.
She’s also trying to sit up. Whenever she grabs a hold of my fingers, she tries to pull up and succeeds. She loves looking around in a sitting position and starts fussing as soon as you put her down. My mom gets really mad at me for letting her pull up, because older generation/Russian people have this thing about sitting babies up before 4-6 months. I couldn’t find any information about that, except for to encourage babies to sit up to get their muscles working and get them sued to the feeling, so I am going to ask our pediatrician about it next week.

She’s finally liking her stroller walks and starting to not mind carriers (though those can be hit or miss). I still can’t get her to do any one activity for longer than 20 minutes and I don’t like leaving her to her own devices, so there’s always someone interacting with her (mostly me), with occasional bouts of bouncy chair (when I need to pee or eat) and toys, but even then I try to talk to her about the toys she’s looking at (Did you know to maximize language development you need to say 30,000 words directed at the baby A DAY? Isn’t that insane?)

Health

Speaking of development, I also make sure to take at least 3 grams of DHA ( or eat 3 grams of DHA in fatty fish) a day, since that has been found to be extremely beneficial in nursing mothers (for baby’s brain development). When it comes to dietary restrictions, I don’t do dairy due to cow’s milk proteins and their negative effects on digestive system and allergic reactions (which is possibly why she hasn’t had ANY problems with lower intestinal pain and/or gas). I have also excluded tomatoes, citrus, onion to improve her reflux ( I didn’t realize how hard it is to NOT eat tomatoes or onions)

Speaking of reflux, it doesn’t seem to bother her much, except for on occasion when she really needs to burp. She does spit up, but it’s not of a big concern unless she’s lying on her back. So at night she sleeps on her side and during the day naps in bouncy chairs. I wonder how common mild spit up/reflux issues are… Is there anyone out there who ISN’T dealing with it to an extent? It’d be super awesome to just lay her on her back and not worry about food coming back up her throat. We both cannot wait until it eases up at 3 months (if it does), so that she’s more comfortable.

Eating

She still eats very frequently. During the day it’s pretty much every hour. Though for the past two days she’s gone more like every 1.5 to 2 hours between feedings most of the time, but it is not something I can rely on yet. One thing is clear. She’s growing and her eating and sleeping habits are changing for the better and all we had to do is wait for her to grow up a little bit. She does this adorable thing now when she eats: she runs her hand up and down my boob and when it’s well moisturized you can see the deliberation in it- she loves the feeling of her fingers sliding back and forth.

{Lexi is up from her 30 minute nap, so I’m going to give her some smiles and feed her and hope I can still get back to this post today (…) Daddy took her for a stroller walk so I’m back}

She’s has grown physically as well. Hourly feedings are definitely showing in her chins and cheeks and rolls and folds. She is a BIG BIG breastfed baby. She’s pretty much grown out of 0-3 months clothing and fits right into most 3-6 months. As a matter of fact, I got this adorable 3-6  bamboo romper from an organic Chinese  company via Zulily and it was too small (see picture below)

Appearance

Her baby acne is starting to disappear, her angel kiss (the forehead mark) is fading a bit, though both come out full strength when she is fussy, crying, or trying to poop, as well as at some other random times. Her diaper rash is gone, thanks to Lavanila and her body rash has cleared up. All her dry skin is gone and slowly her skin and body are adjusting to the life outside of the womb. I think her hair WILL lighten up (or fall out) and become blonde, because her eyebrows are super blonde like mine and her skin is fair ( I almost lost her nipples on one picture, I couldn’t differentiate her acne from her nipple). Her hair get sweaty so fast, because she’s constantly in our arms and when it’s wet, it gets this cute curl to it.

All in all, she’s a happy girl, who gifts us lots of smiles, a few fussy periods so that we’d treasure those smiles and a hell of a lot of personality! I am just dying to see how it develops over the years and months and cannot wait to go on adventures with my little girl!

HAPPY 2 MONTHS, baby girl! We love you!

To celebrate her 2 monthaversary, I’m going to run a BIG giveaway from organic baby clothing companies (1 clothing item each). I am going to try to get it out by tomorrow, but not sure if that’s going to happen. So look for it in the next couple of days.

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There’s something I’d like to say about the direction this blog is headed in. A reader brought to my attention that she expected to see more parenting/baby posts when Alexis showed up and she’s absolutely right! I’m sure many of you are wondering about the same thing, so I thought I’d address it.

This HAS been and WILL be a blog about bringing Lexi into this world and her babyhood as seen through my eyes, along with my personal blog full of things I care about, as well.

For some reason, though, for the past two weeks I have had sort of a writer’s block when it comes to all things Alexis.

I have been feeling like I don’t have enough time to write the kind of posts I want to. I have a million topics in my head ( first bath, first walk, beach outing, infant massage, breastfeeding, time management, one day with Lexi, cloth diapers,etc) and even more photos, but I feel overwhelmed when I even think about starting to write something this big and important. She changes so much each day and there’s so much I can write about that when it comes to getting a post out, I start feeling like I only have time to write some less time consuming post that doesn’t take much thought. I know it’s a cop out and I’m working on it.

It doesn’t help that when it comes to certain things, I’m a perfectionist. To the point where it prevents me from doing things. I keep thinking “Oh I’ll do this post when I have better photos” or “…when I have more time to really express how I feel”. The excuses are endless…

For example the breastfeeding post… Oh my god! It’s SUCH a big issue, so much to say…  I can’t get myself started on it because I know I can’t even make as dent in it in the 10-15 minutes Alexis gives me. So I keep postponing  writing it!

So what I’m trying to say is I need to do better. Not for my readers, per se, but for myself, which is why this blog exists.

I need to get short posts out quicker, I need to not worry if a post is valuable from the information standpoint (I know… how stupid!), I need to just write and attach a photo or two. Quick bursts of thoughts and happenings. About Alexis, about parenthood, about things that are new to me. Because the memories and experiences will fade with time and I won’t have the kind of record of her life that I want to.

That being said, I will still write about things that are not “mommy” related. Motherhood doesn’t define me. I still like shopping, photography, pretty things, beach, my friends, travel, video editing. I’ll write about all these things as well – they just won’t dominate my blog like they have been for the past 2 weeks.

I will also continue running the BEST FOR BABY feature because these are the items I find useful and the companies I believe in and I want to pass that onto whoever cares. I remember liking these types of posts back when I was pregnant because I was lost in the sea of baby products and had no real way of finding health conscious and/or cool baby brands. And the giveaways is my way of giving something of value to people reading, something that I myself recommend and use (and it’s an amazing feeling when a regular reader I know wins).

So now that Lexi is giving me a bit more time (not much but enough for a post), I am going to try to set aside my perfectionism and write smaller more manageable posts about what our life has been. Starting from the beginning.

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I am OBSESSED with group sale websites. Like seriously, it’s a problem!

I’ve always been an avid online shopper. I would much rather browse websites than wade through heaps of clothing at the malls and try things on (ugh!).
So it was completely normal for me to have joined some of the better discount sale websites.

Here’s the problem though:
Because I spend most of my time in my glider either nursing or rocking Alexis to sleep, my finger inadvertently finds MYHABIT, Gilt or Zulily apps on my iPhone and suddenly there are ALL these deals that I just cannot miss! Let’s just say, we should invest in a box making factory and FedEx and UPS guys know us by name and know to knock rather than ring the door bell.
I justify it by the fact that those items are on a truly great sale and I buy buy buy. At this point I am definitely stocked up on all organic clothes for 3-6 months stage, and made a decent dent into dresses for 12,18 and 24 months stage.

I recently realized it was a problem and I was doing it out of boredom and justifying it by the HUGE discounts I was getting. I didn’t completely stop buying but I am much more reasonable now.

So in the meantime i’d like to share with you some of what I’ve gotten recently.

I’ll attempt to list websites, brands, where to buy and prices (original and discounted) but I don’t have that info for everything. I also marked what’s organic ( the rest is bought for after the 6 months stage, when we’ll be doing non-organic as well). With the organic purchases, the goal isn’t the looks but getting organic outfits for a reasonable price. It’s after 6 months when I’ll be buying non-organic clothes, I will be more focused on cuteness of the clothes.

{update} My latest purchase that I’m in love with.

Where? Zulily (sale going on now here)
Brand: Lourdes
How much and sale info?
($47) $27.99

Where? MYHABIT
Brand: greenbaby
How much ad sale info?
($40) $29 each
Organic

Where? MYHABIT
Brand: Alphabet
How much and sale info?

($64) $13

Where? MYHABIT
Brand: Alphabet
How much and sale info?
($64) $13

Originally I bought this dress for a friend’s baby, but then when I saw the same exact dress on sale on MyHabit I just couldn’t resist.

Where? MYHABIT
How much and sale info?
($74) $19

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LAVANILA

Today I bring to you a line of baby skin care products from Lavanila, a healthy skin care brand.

I was first introduced to it as a company that makes healthy fragrance. Most perfumes have parabens in them even if they are not listed (FDA allows manufacturers to not disclose the ingredients of the fragrance of their products due to trade law, so the listing that has “fragrance/perfum” as an ingredient can very well contain some of the worst chemicals).

Little did I know that they carry a small but amazing baby skincare line!

Babies don’t need much when it comes to personal care: a lotion, a wash, a diaper rash cream and maybe sunblock. It’s got it all.

What appeals to me the most is the fact that besides being 100% natural, it also delivers 30 essential vitamins and minerals that support the development of baby skin. However, many companies claim that their products  are “100% natural”, but it doesn’t always mean they’re harmless ( Hello, 7th generation cleaning products containing the 100% natural SLS!)

So I checked out the ingredients and I love it. See for yourselves:

BODY WASH

MY DIAPER RASH CREAM ORDEAL

The next test for me personally was the diaper rash cream. See, I’ve been striking out on diaper rash creams. When Alexis was first born, we used disposables and sorry to say, but we weren’t the greatest at changing her diaper promptly, because she never displayed any discomfort. So she developed a diaper rash and our pedi recommended A&D ointment or Destin. We immediately went to Walgreens to pick one of them up. I happened to glance at the ingredients of Destin and instantly put it back on the shelf: PARABENS! Seriously? They still TO THIS DAY put parabens into baby products???? That’s just ridiculous!

So we found A&D ointment. That one was better, however still contained a slew of known questionable chemicals. So I ordered an Earth Mama bottom balm, 100% natural ointment. The problem with it? No zinc oxide, which means no HEALING. The diaper rash would laugh in our faces when we put the Bottom Balm on it ( I’m sure it’s good for prevention, but not as a cure). So after some time I found a cream that both had zinc oxide  AND wasn’t too bad on the rest of the ingredients. It DID have mineral oil, which can dry out skin in the deeper layers of it, but I figured that beats parabens.

So (are you still with me?) when I saw the inredients for Lavanila Diaper Rash Cream, I did a happy dance! No parabens, no mineral oil, and YES to zinc oxide- hey these people know what they are doing! Needless to say our Lexi bottom has never looked so baby pink and smooth ( seriously!) and it took all of 2 days to clear it up. {I just had to stop writing and change Alexis’ diaper and I noticed how little of the Baby Bottom cream you need per diaper change, which is bonus}

Here’s what Lavanila’s promise is:
NO: Sulfates, Parabems, Phtalates, Silicone, Petrochemicals, Propylene Glycol, Mineral Oil, Formaldehyde, Synthetic Fragrances or dyes

I say yes to something like that!

I also love the smell of the Healthy Baby body wash and the fact that it’s a foam and not liquidy soap.

Anyways, I am personally sold on this company and their products. I know I’ll be back there when my products run out. I am looking forward to trying out the baby sunblock in months to come. It promises to be safe (and ingredients prove it), it smells mild and doesn’t leave your skin white like most physical sunscreens do.

I find it funny that I had to stop writing this post 3 times before I was done with it {A diaper change, a bath and a feeding and rocking to sleep}… Oh Lexi! I love you!

So if your baby struggles with diaper rash and you had no idea the conventional ointments have such harmful chemicals, or if you just want to have an awesome cream at hand, here’s how to get it:

BUY IT: Use this code  LAVELENA to get 40% OFF Baby products at Lavanila.com ($15)  {till 3/30}

WIN IT: You can enter a giveaway below to win Healthy Baby Bottom Cream

BELOW ARE THE GIVEAWAY RULES
and Mandatory Entries: {read carefully}

There are two mandatory entries, after which you will have additional entries available,
and 1 daily entry for which you can come back to enter daily.
The winning entry will be verified and the winner disqualified if the action is not found or if the mandatory items are not fullfilled.
Make sure to notate how you’re following the blog in the extra info field (entry #1). The entry won’t count if that information is missing.
Please make sure to visit Lavanila  Facebook Page and write on their wall which product you’d love to try.
The giveaway is open to US residents only. See the rafflecopter widget for additional terms and conditions.

If you have a blog, there’re 2 entries each worth 10 points ( post our button on your blog’s sidebar and blog about the giveaway)

{If you’re not sure how to use to enter, feel free to watch this video tutorial or email me at contact {at} prebabyblog {dot} com
Otherwise, make sure to read everything carefully. Click the DO IT link first, then ENTER once the action is completed}

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: I was not compensated by Lavanila. I received their products in exchange for an honest review. All the opinions represented here are 100% my own

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Ok, to be fair, I “stepped” out during some random weekday, but who’s watching? The point is “I STEPPED OUT”.

These days just the act is worth a picture. Hopefully some day I’ll actually blowdry/straighten/curl my hair (whoa! Mind explosion!) and/or wear something more presentable than a church lady outfit. But I still don’t fit into most of my bottoms ( damn you, Elena, for liking your jeans and shorts too tight), so I resort to dresses and skirts, and I don’t own too many skirts, so yeah…. let’s just say I need to improve in that department and it started last night with a big order from Victoria’s Secret consisting mostly of …? You guessed right! SKIRTS!

Taking a simple picture of an outfit proved to be more challenging that I thought. My little girl is the complete opposite of a model sometimes. You’re either lucky – you point the camera at her and she STARES RIGHT at it, oooorrrrrr…. (which happens more often) stares right at it and makes a face/starts fussing right as you hit the shutter button (especially if I am holding her and REALLY REALLY REALLY want a good mommy/daughter picture).

When I get a chance, I’ll do a post of her Robin Scherbatsky faces ( you know what I mean if you’re a HIMYM fan)

{ Alexis: Banana onesie by Spunky Stork, Diaper by Apple Cheeks
Elena: grey ruffle top by Express, skirt from God knows where, diaper bag by Baby Kaed,
golden ballet flats from MyHabit by Yosi Samra, Tree of Life bracelet from Gilt by Tai Jewelry }

In other news, there are a ton of posts I am trying to write (pictures, experiences, giveaways, reviews, my favorite baby items, month #2 post) but OH MY GOD, Alexis won’t nap for longer than 10 minutes anywhere other than my arms for the past week. She’s definitely a handful, my little girl.

{ Right now as I type this, my husband is frantically trying to shush and rock her to sleep, because she’s overtired but she won’t sleep for longer than a few minutes, poor girl. Thank you husband for giving me these 20 minutes to write a quick post. }

My hopes are: this weekend I can get enough me time to edit some photos and write some things, but that might be wishful thinking…

{oh and just now she stopped crying and zonked out thanks to our white noise generator app, so as long as Andrew is holding her I can continue typing}

Also, we’ll attempt to go to a Butterfly releasing ceremony on Sunday (1000 butterflies) with Alexis. Cross your fingers that we survive the outting with the heat and her not being able to take more than 15-20 minutes in one place, be it stroller, carrier, wrap or sling, except for our arms ( hey, at least we’ve got that)

{and now she’s lying next to me in her swaddle and tossing and turning. Sleep, baby girl, sleep! How do you like my play-by-play? lol}

More {BETTER} outfit posts to come. I’ll definitely “model” some of the new purchases, since one of the posts I am writing is about how I am absolutely OBSESSED with buying clothes nowadays {it really is a problem and has to stop}

See you again soon!

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When I was pregnant I loved day dreaming about what life with a newborn would be like, what Alexis would be like. I always said that if she ends up being a laid back baby, I am SO going places with her from the get-go and having the fun I missed out on while being pregnant. If she’s more of a high needs baby, I thought, we’d do whatever it takes to keep her safe, healthy and comfortable. Somehow I had a feeling she’d be more of a high needs baby and I remember telling my husband that I think I’d rather have it that way, because that would mean she knows what she wants ( and also years of hard work for us).

Well, as you all know, Alexis isn’t a laid back baby. She’s her own perfect kind of smart, alert, inquisitive, demanding, hungry newborn who wants to be held (and not in the carriers) and fed and entertained all the time. She’s also a happy baby (that is when she’s not fussing for food or to be carried around on our shoulders so that she could look at stuff).

So while I’m spending all my days taking care of Alexis with all my energy and time spent on keeping her happy, fed, entertained, growing, all the things babies are supposed to get, I can’t help but think of a time when we all, as a family, can be more active participants in life. Particularly I’m looking foward to seeing some of my friends who live far away.

There have been a few people who I considered soulmates from the beginning. You know the ones that you meet and click with immediately and they love you back just as much.
My husband was one of them. We knew we were meant to be together from our first conversation.

So two of those kind of friends will be coming to visit in August. In time for my birthday which I plan to celebrate in style (energy and funds permitting)
The most amazing thing is that I met both of them online through blogging. I have connected with so many awesome people online it makes my heart melt! I’ve met many of them in real life afterwards and others (relatively new ones) I really hope to meet some time in the future.
I love how easily connections are made in the Internet world. You feel like you know the person. And the warmth coming from some of them, the support and love- that just makes you love them right back!

Leeka, one of my oldest friends in US, contacted me many years ago back when I had a blog on a Russian site. We became online friends and soon decided to meet when she was traveling to Cleveland from Cincinnati for work.
The instance we saw each other, it was like we always were friends. There was no awkwardness, no shyness, no holding back- it was like “Hi there, girlfriend!”

From then on, we’d see each other every time we could and keep in touch online.
Once we had moved to Florida, if Leeka had a vacation or time to get away, she’d come down to Florida with her daughter Gabby!

I consider them both as important to me as family.

Another friend is Teagan, a bloggy friend turned real life friend. I am absolutely in love with her and her husband and cannot wait to see them again. It’s amazing considering that we only met once, but we just get each other. We only had a day to hang out the first time, but what awesome long day it was and this time they’re coming for a week and I couldn’t be happier.

After a late night conversation at an Orlando restaurant about being vegan, (we had to be kicked out because we were so into it), Teagan and Scott went vegan as well (note: my husband is vegan, I was vegetarian, and am currently pescetarian (minus dairy) with plans on going vegan when I stop breastfeeding). And recently I got news that Leeka went vegan as well, so it’s even more exciting to have these two friends over, because it’s going to be an amazing vegan fest over here.

By then Alexis will be 7 months old and I am just super excited to introduce both Leeka with Gabby and Teagan with Scott to her, she’s already so loved by all of them.

But until that time comes ( and I am sure it will be here before we know it), I am left perusing photos from past adventures and day dreaming about all the fun trips to come.

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Reflections:

Hypnobabies

{BOP}

I know a lot of you were waiting patiently to see how Hypnobabies worked out for me and if you read my birth story,you know that it sort of didn’t. If you followed this blog for a few months, you are aware how diligent I was about hypnobabies training and daily exercises. I was good, I was really good… I did everything I was supposed to, even the part where I have to blindly believe that HB will work ( which is SOOOOO not like me to just blindly believe in something). But I figured if I had a prayer of natural labor, this would be it. So I trained.

I have to say that in the beginning I was very impressed with Hypnobabies and the strength that it put me out with. I really felt it working. However, towards the end I felt like the tracks failed to “take you under” properly, they sort of just skipped through the whole process and you were supposed to “assume” you’re under hypnosis. I didn’t feel I was under hypnosis, not the way I did with the earlier tracks, but I continued because accordig to the program, you don’t have to “feel” anything for it to work.

So when my contractions started I did what I was trained to do which is the finger drop technique ( where you basically relax your whole body with the drop of your index finger). I thought it was working, I thought I was relaxing and managing through contractions. Granted, I don’t know how severe they were supposed to be, so I am not sure how much of it was Hypnobabies and how much was just that I was handling the contractions on my own. I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t tensing up, I was doing my thing…

I think it all broke down when we got to the hospital. It’s very possible HB WAS working up until then, but as soon as I had people to talk to and things to do, I was concentrating less and less on the tracks and relaxation. Yes, my husband was “supposed” to talk to everyone for me. And he did, but I still listened, was curious, wanted to talk to the nurses, too. I don’t like to stand by and watch, I like to partake. And I believe that’s where it got me.

I remember I first started getting the shakes in the triage. The shakes that I now know were my muscles tensing up.

I thought it was hypnobabies helping me get through contractions and I guess I’ll never know if it were, but there was something that nurse, who teaches hypnobirthing said, that I tend to agree with: “If your relaxation was working, you wouldn’t feel it at all as pain, you’d be relaxed. Your uterus muscles wouldn’t be working hard against your tension”.

So will I try hypnosis or natural labor next time? I think so. But I’ll go with hypnobirthing program, just to see the difference, and I’ll give natural labor a shot once more. If it doesn’t work, well, no harm done.

{end of BOP}

Hospital bags

What we packed for labor and delivery was a topic of much discussion. Somehow everyone knew exactly what I will need or more importantly not need or what our particular hospital allows. It especially humored me when one lady announced that it’s stupid to bring a bunch of stuff and leave it in the car, because my husband would have to run 20 minutes there and back from the hospital to the parking lot to get necessary items. And that’s considering our birth center has its own parking lot right in front of it and it takes about 2 minutes to  get to it. Talk about assumptions!

So here’s how it ACTUALLY worked out:

I was packing a lot of stuff pretty much knowing that I’ll use only a fraction of it. But since we have a big SUV and a close parking lot, it was better to come over-prepared than under-prepared. So I took pretty much every suggestion that made sense from the comments to my hospital bag question post. To my surprise, I used A TON of what we packed, and what I didn’t use I was glad I brought in case my experience were different and needed them. I won’t mention things that everyone agreed I should take (like chapstick), but will list things that were questionable.

• Blow up mattress (for hubby to sleep on since everyone said how bad those pullout couches were). We ended up finding a better solution: sleeping together in my hospital bed. It was comfy, we were together and honestly I needed the closeness of my husband after such an emotional experience. Also, the few hours that he did nap on the couch, he said it wasn’t that bad at all.
• I was very happy to have packed my own pads and underwear. Those hospital pads and mesh panties were HORRIBLE. First of all the mesh panties were so big they kept sliding down under the weight of everything they have you put down there. And pads weren’t absorbent at all. I was very happy to switch into my own stuff the next morning when the bleeding subsided.
• I didn’t use any of the lounge clothes I brought for the hospital. I spent the whole time in my dearjohnnies gown- it was easier, better access to boobs and checks and just as attractive.
• I did get to wear the Boob Design going home dress with no problems. It was comfy, stretchy and I felt good and nice looking in it! Definitely preferred walking out of the hospital with my new baby looking radiant rather than grubby. Though I have to admit, it was largely due to my easy recovery. Had I felt like crap, I probably would have wanted to wear sweat pants and one of my Boob Design nursing shirts.
• I really enjoyed having my own soft blanket and body pillow with me. It made it a lot more comfortable to labor with them and then later sleep with.
• Lavender oil diffuser was an interesting addition. I didn’t even notice the smell at the time since I was busy laboring but all the nurses commented on how they loved coming into our room because of how good it smelled.
• I loved having our own baby blankets and clothes to dry Lexi off with and dress in. It felt a lot more special that way than using standard issue hospital blankets.
• I didn’t get to use a breastfeeding pillow because honestly Alexis would get so frantically hungry there was no time to fumble with a pillow.
• Even though I packed the Victoria’s secret robe into my “just in case” bag, I did get to use it. The hospital was so cold that I had to put it on top of my Pretty Pushers gown and then cover myself with a blanket.

Conclusion: The second time I do this (if I do), I will pack the exact same stuff. This was not a first time mom overpacking. This was a “I want to cover every case scenario” overpacking. And having gone through it now, I’d pack everything once again, because I don’t see anything that won’t possibly get used depending on the situation. Every labor is different, and I don’t presume that my next one will be anything like this, so items I didn’t get to use this time, I might need next time.

Epidural

Honestly? I hate to say it because I feel like I’d be betraying  all the women who have ever attempted med-free childbirth but I loved it.
I had originally wanted an epidural but after finding out about hypnobabies and the possibility of painless med-free childbirth, I was going to try without it.
Had my labor been shorter, I would have done just fine during the contractions. BUT… I am terrified, just thinking about pushing without an epidural! I mean, seriously! After going through it with an epidural, I can’t imagine tearing and being stretched out without it. So much that I will have to think long and hard before I decide to go without next time.
My 2 big concerns with an epidural had been:

1. Leads to pitocin and then a C-section
2. Baby is born not alert/ hinders breastfeeding.

Well the first one: we would have needed pitocin no matter what since my labor stalled and I’m glad I didn’t get to experience it without an epidural.
Second: Alexis was screaming before they even pulled her body out and stayed super alert for the next few day s- obviously that didn’t influence her.

So epidural- pretty damn good. Should you try to labor naturally? Heck yeah!!! Drugs free labor is still the best way to go in my mind. But not everyone’s situation is conducive to it. Chances are your labor experience will be very different!

Hospital experience

Completely different from what I was told and expected. We went in ready to fight for my rights but were given the green light to do whatever we wanted. I feel I got a birthing center experience in the safety of a hospital. Wonderful nurses, great atmosphere, friendly staff, no interventions that I didn’t opt for myself.  The only downside was all the medical personnel coming in to check on us every 45 minutes around the clock. That was very frustrating, but at the same time, everyone was so nice, I don’t hold it against them.

Recovery

I already wrote about my recovery here, but once thing I’d like to mention was this miracle lotion from Zita West that I found invaluable. Zita West is a team of reproductive health care specialists, dealing with fertility, pregnancy, pre-conception planning. They have a line of pregnancy related products that is worth checking out. I used the Pre-conditioning Down Under oil for my perineal massage as it contains moisturizing carrier oils and no fragrance. It lasted the whole 8 weeks of the massage without having to use it sparingly.

But the true miracle lotion I have to mention was the Comfort Down Under. It’s meant for postpartum, but I started using it during pregnancy whenever any issue would arise. It literally HEALS any cuts, soreness, itchiness in a day. After delivery, I used it every time I’d go to the bathroom and the combination of its healing properties as well as a cooling sensation it gives were a God’s sent at that time. I continued using the lotion all throughout the first week or two and would recommend it to ANYONE. As a matter of fact, it’s definitely a lotion to keep for other issues, since its healing powers are truly something to behold. Witch’s Hazel is nothing compared to this bottle.

So if you’re pregnant, definitely look into buying at least the Comfort Down Under, if not both oils. Also if you’re in UK and TTC, I’d recommend you look into Zita West pre-conception resources and services.

Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post. Zita West sent me a sample of the product to try, however all the opinions are 100% my own.

Also read:

Birth Story Part I
Birth Story Part II

Breastfeeding Journey
Breastfeeding Products that Helped 

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Ok, so I am starting a new series of reviews and giveaways of baby related products, titled BEST FOR BABY.

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I’m attempting to do the same thing I did with the maternity clothes feature ( Pregnant With Style), which is find little known brands of baby products and baby related items and give my opinion on them, as well as give you a chance to win some of them. You can expect to see diaper bags, breastfeeding products, interesting toys, organic clothes, strollers, carriers, bottles, seats, personal care products, etc. I’ll be running them once a week just like before, so come back every weekend to see something new and hopefully win it.

We’re starting this feature with amykathryn Diaper Bags.

One of the first fun purchases pregnant women get to make for themselves in anticipation of their baby’s arrival is a cute and stylish diaper bag. Before becoming pregnant I had always heard about how ugly and plain diaper bags were, but it wasn’t until I had to look for one that I saw where the problem was.

Most diaper bags look frumpy- bad fabrics, bad colors, bad design- it’s like they scream: “Hi! I’m a diaper bag! My owner gave up on style” . Then there are those that look like normal large purses with lots of pockets, but the prices are YIKES! Finally, you can always buy a reasonably priced non-diaper bag, but then without the extra storage, it always looks like a trash can in there and you still need to get a separate changing pad that might or might not fit into or match the bag.

Enter the world of cute, girly, large and functional diaper bags that won’t cost as much as a stroller: amykathryn!

I’ve been eyeing her bags for a few months now, trying to decide which one I liked more, because as you will see her whole line is outright A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E! In the pictures I’m carrying the Hydrangea Lilac Messenger bag and I am in LOVE with its design and colors. It’s perfect for spring, and goes with pretty much any outfit. I liked it so much that I promptly emptied my previous diaper bag and stocked this one up.

Here’s what we’ve got there pocket wise:

• Large interior zipper pocket
• 3 interior open pockets
• 2 exterior zipper pockets
• 2 exterior open pockets

PROS:

• GORGEOUS! The styles are awesome: from bright spring colors, to boho chic to classy neutrals
• Large bag sure to fit everything plus a blanket
• Lots of pockets that are generously sized
• Affordable at $99 (can also be found on sale sites like Zulily, MyHabit and Gilt )
• Doubles as a non-diaper purse if needed
• Super soft changing pad that you don’t mind your baby’s precious naked booty lying on ( though it’s questionable whether you’d want that precious booty to poop on that awesome leather)
• Animal-friendly faux (SOOOOOFT) leather, organic cotton canvas and custom print designs

CONS:

• Doesn’t come with a wipes case or a zip up wetbag, but chances are you already have something of that kind to use.

HOW TO BUY IT:

Visit amykathryn.com to check out latest styles and prices, but be warned this spring collection is bound to sell out FAST.
Occasionally, you can find sales for half off on Zulily, MyHabit and Gilt

You can follow their blog, FB page and Twitter to get new about sales and discounts as well as new releases.

HOW TO WIN IT:

Enter our giveaway below for a chance to win a $100 credit to amykathryn shop where you can pick out your own gorgeous bag. Open to US and Canadian residents.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: I received this bag in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are 100% mine.

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Before reading Part II, please read Birth Story Part I

(…) We called the nurse to do a cervical check.

I’m 3.5 cm 50% effaced!

No progress! Twelve hours of intense frequent contractions did absolutely nothing!

My first thought was “Thats it! I want an epidural!”  I was too tired and sleepy to fight any longer. And as if by command, before we were even able to discuss it or tell the nurse, my contractions started spacing out. They were coming 4-5 min apart. It was like my body’s way of telling me to relax.
In retrospect, I can see that I wasn’t able to effectively relax during contractions (even though I thought I was). Instead my body had to work really hard against my tension (hence no progress and super strong frequent contractions) which is exactly what I was trying to avoid by doing hypnobabies but obviously it didn’t work for me.
I think if my body was given a chance to rest, the contractions would have picked up again but I was so exhausted and sleepy at that moment, I didn’t feel I had the energy to wait and see even through spaced out contractions, so we requested an epidural. Cynthia administered the IV drip, and after they made us watch this silly 70s video, my anesthesiologist came in and took care of the rest. The procedure was painless and I felt relief almost instantly. Aaaaaahhhhh! It’s easy to become an epidural convert when the relief is so immediate.

Later, when I was going through the photos taken during labor, I found this photo immediately followed by the one below it.

{It’s like a commercial for medicated birth}

The first thing I tried doing was SLEEP! Oh the glorious gods of slumber! It was great! I didn’t really get to sleep for a long period of time but just resting for an hour made all the difference.

Soon the nurse shift changed and a new nurse, named Jackie came in. She was actually  a hypnobabies trainer. She was a goofy woman and luckily now that I had an epidural, I didn’t mind joking around.

She talked to me about getting some Pitocin to get the labor going since an epidural slowed it down a bit more as well. I suggested we wait an hour or so and then see. Realistically, with enough time my labor would have picked up on its own but none of us wanted to sit around and wait till that happened. We wanted Lexi and we wanted her now. {Funny how impatience can get the best of us}

We figured if in a few hours it doesn’t pick up, we’ll be ok with a low dose of Pitocin. I wouldn’t have wanted to have Pitocin to start the labor, because it would sabotage my chances of  laboring without pain relief but since I was already hooked on an epidural, it didn’t really matter much, as long as it was administered wisely.

My OB came in to talk to me in about an hour and I repeated what I had told the nurse. That “generally” we don’t mind starting a pit drip, but we’d like to wait an hour to see what my body does on its own.

I have to mention that at the hospital my nice sweet OB was more bossy and strict. It wasn’t a bad change, per se, but I did feel like i had less say in the matter than before. So after an hour of lack luster contractions we went ahead with the first low dose of Pitocin.

Contractions picked up quickly and were coming regularly. The goal was to up the dose every 20 min until they come every 2-3 min apart again. As far as I remember we upped the dose 3 times.
Pitocin was first administered at 10am and I was fully dilated by 2pm. The whole time I just hung out on my phone, not feeling a thing waiting for the drugs to do their job.

Around 2 pm- 2:15 pm we were ready to push. Her head was right there. After every push it would come out and then get sucked back in. We like to say that the first thing that was born was a curl of dark hair! Before we saw Alexis, we saw her curl for a few contractions.

It was really frustrating to push while numb. I felt helpless and ineffective. BUT it WAS painless. I clearly remember thinking (and still do) that while the pushing with an epidural was frustrating, I was not sure I wanted to experience it without, seeing all the stretching my OB was doing there- Yikes! Speaking of stretching, I won’t go into gory details, but it appeared that my OB was in a hurry and wanted to speed up things a bit ( he had to make a call to his office saying he’d be there in 30 minutes) and used his hands “freely”. My husband believes it was one of the reasons why I got 1 tear ( 1st degree). In the end, we decided that we didn’t mind, because him stretching me out meant less pressure on Lexi’s head and since I didn’t have a painful recovery, it was all for the best.

After about 30 minutes of pushing her head came out and it looked sooooo little! Before she was even pulled out completely, she started crying. She was so alert the whole time. She was immediately placed on my chest where they sucked liquid from her nose and mouth and Andrew started drying her off. I didn’t want to post more graffic photos on here, but there are 2 photos in particular that don’t show anything per se, but are pretty cool since it was the exact moment of Alexis being put on my chest with the cord still attached. The photos are blurry and bad quality but they mean the world to me. You can see them here:  Photo  Photo 2

Then he wrapped her in one of our Bambino Land organic blankets and put a hat on her. I just remember her looking soooo scared and helpless. And there was so much love for her in that instant. Like I said before we didn’t feel overwhelming love, we felt this calm deep feeling of knowing we’ve always loved her- like a “duh” feeling. She was soooo sweet and adorable and scared and she needed us to keep her warm and safe and comfortable. She just lay there on my chest frantically sucking her fist. It almost makes me cry just thinking about how scared she must have been.

{Organic Hat and Recieving Blanket is by Bambino Land}

The rest was a bit of a blur. I breastfed her- she latched onto my boobs like a Hoover vacuum and killed my nipples that first time.

After some bonding time when everyone left us alone, the baby nurse came in to weigh her and do routine procedures.

We were so wrapped up in this little girl we had been waiting for for so long that we didn’t even bother to ask her measurements.

After a while I got put into a wheelchair and with my baby in my arms wheeled up to the recovery floor.

It was almost unreal to have this tiny being in my hands- the one who spent 9 months inside me, submerged in water, upside down, with food and oxygen delivered to her, perfect temperature, no outside influence. It’s her little feet that stretched across my abdomen, her butt that stuck out whenever we touched it.

I spent the whole post partum time at the hospital wearing a designer hospital gown by dearjohnnies. I didn’t feel comfortable putting my own clothes on, because anything loose would feel too bulky under the covers and let’s admit it, pictures wouldn’t have turned out half as good if I wore the hospital provided one. Once again, just like Pretty Pushers gown, you can read about dearjohnnies and win a gown for yourself here.

Those first days before my milk came in on day 2 Alexis ate every 2 hours and slept sporadically (mostly stayed awake and alert) and pooped 1 and 2 diapers a day (which was exactly what I read and everyone tried to tell me was wrong). The next day Andrew drove home to pick up my mom, who stayed with us at the hospital for the day. She even held Alexis in her arms for a few hours just so that we could both get some sleep.

We both didn’t sleep at night because Alexis wouldn’t, so we weren’t even up to having visitors at the hospital – we were so exhausted from days of no sleep that started before delivery. To add insult to injury, medical personnel for some reason thought it was a good idea to keep coming in at night, turning lights full on and cheerfully and loudly announce that it’s time for them to take Alexis temperature right as we FINALLY put her to sleep.

One night this doctor comes in (after we had spent hours shushing and rocking her and finally got her to sleep) and insists on turning the brightest lights in the room and waking up Alexis because she needs a full body exam since “it’s been 24 hours”. It made no sense to me….  After he wakes her up and undresses her, he looks at the name tag and non-challantly announces that he’s got the wrong person. Lol I was ready to kill him right there and then.

{Swaddle in both pictures is by Bambino Land, purple onesie is by Best Baby Organics}

Originally, we were hoping not to introduce a pacifier until breastfeeding is established, but this girl LOVED and NEEDED to suck, so we gave in. It’s funny now because she spits every single one of them out.

Whenever they needed to take her somewhere to test her hearing or anything else, Andrew went with them. We never let her out of our sight and never let her be without at least one of us.

On day two We got cleared by both OB and ped to go home. By then I felt relatively good and had almost no bleeding. My body was still sore and it was a bit hard to get up but in the excitement of going home that got completely overlooked. I took a shower, brushed my hair, put some make up on and got into my going home dress, put my favorite cupcake footie on Alexis and felt like a new person, a new family, going home.

We only took a few shots on the way home and I would have really liked to have had Alexis out of the car seat, but they wouldn’t let us out that way. I still looked about 6 months pregnant going home (Thank you Boob Design dress for not making it obvious!), but by 2nd week I was back to “visibly” semi-flat stomach.

I loved driving home in the backseat with Lexi holding my thumb, only 2 days old and so adorable.

All in all, I consider my labor experience to be great, despite not doing it med-free and ending up with Pitocin. I got to labor for 10 hours without medication, I experienced the relief of an epidural without any side effects that sometimes follow it, I would totally do it again and pretty much with the same plan of action: try to get through it without pain relief, but in the end get an epidural if it’s too much to handle.

My next post will be Reflections on Birth Experience, where I’ll try to write my feelings and thoughts about the process, Hypnobabies, my hospital bag, the epidural and so on.

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Dear Johnnies is another hospital gown meant for a slightly different purpose during labor and delivery.

This one you wouldn’t want to get dirty- it’s so pretty with its patterns and colors. It is designed exactly like your standard hospital gown so few hospitals should have a problem with it. But instead of dingy hospital colors and twisted old ties, you’ve got bright happy patterns AND ribbons (love it).

Every gown comes in a cute little matching pouch. The gown has arm and back snaps along with ties all the way down the backside for easy medical access, but without revealing all of your goods.
As soon as I was transferred into my postpartum recovery room, I couldn’t wait to change into my cute pink gown. It wasn’t even a matter of not being comfortable in anything else. I just wanted to look and feel pretty after going through a beautiful but, let’s admit it, dirty experience.

And then of course it allows for much more pleasant hospital photos. Try to imagine these same shots with a green patterned standard hospital issue gown. Yuck!
Not the same! Not the same!

HOW TO GET IT:

BUY IT: You can purchase any of the styles on Dear Johnnies website  with 20% OFF until 4/15/12 by using the promo code PREBABY2012

WIN IT: You can enter below to win a gown from Wellesley collection! You can also like their FB page and follow their Twitter for news and discounts.

BELOW ARE THE GIVEAWAY RULES
and Mandatory Entries: {read carefully}

There are two mandatory entries, after which you will have additional entries available,
and 1 daily entry for which you can come back to enter daily.
The winning entry will be verified and the winner disqualified if the action is not found or if the mandatory items are not fullfilled.
Make sure to notate how you’re following the blog in the extra info field (entry #1). The entry won’t count if that information is missing.
Please make sure to visit Dear Johnnies’ Facebook Page and write on their wall which design you’d choose if you won.
The giveaway is open to US residents only. See the rafflecopter widget for additional terms and conditions.

If you have a blog, there’re 2 entries each worth 10 points ( post our button on your blog’s sidebar and blog about the giveaway)

{If you’re not sure how to use to enter, feel free to watch this video tutorial or email me at contact {at} prebabyblog {dot} com
Otherwise, make sure to read everything carefully. Click the DO IT link first, then ENTER once the action is completed}

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Disclosure: I was not compensated by Dear Johnnies. I received this gown in exchange for an honest review. All the opinions represented here are 100% my own